How to change people.....Oh yea, you can't!

Why is it we can see other's "faults" before our own? And this can be in the area of fitness and nutrition. We wish our spouse or child ate better or exercised more. Are we setting the example? What I've come to believe, through many mistakes that I've personally made, is that the best approach with family is to:
1. Set a good example. Be the person you are looking for. Be the person you know you should be in your health habits and don't set out to change another person's habits. Our health habits are very personal. It can be hard not to reflect your personal goals onto a spouse or significant other.

2. Give them freedom to choose their own goals. This is hard. Much easier said than done! However, I've discovered that when a person is ready to make a change in his/her health is when it will be a success for them. If they feel they are doing it to please you they will end up resenting your gentle encouragement.

3. Ask for the same freedom from family members. If you've released your family from your health expectations, then ask them for the same respect and freedom to pursue your own goals for your health. Ask them not to tease you when you make a healthy order when eating out. Tell them you are not "dieting". This is a way of life for you. I can bet that if you let them off the hook when they are making bad choices, they will let you off the hook when you are making healthy choices. And that will show them it's possible.

Now a few other quick tips.

1. Don't act like a perfectionist. This is a tricky one, but showing that you can enjoy a dessert now and then is good for the family to see. Still enjoying life is key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle (balance), and showing others that you can maintain your weight while enjoying some splurges (once/week).

2. Having said all the above doesn't mean we shouldn't provide healthy food at home. You should! It's our jobs as parents (if you are one), or as the grocery buyer of the home, to bring home healthy choices and plan healthy meals!

3. Love. Just show unconditional love....to kiddos especially. Showing that you love your kids and spouse no matter the way they look is what will drive them to pursue a healthy lifestyle. If they catch wind at all that you disapprove of their outward appearance, you can unintentionally cause a wedge between your relationship, and an unhealthy fixation on weight and dieting. Don't we have it hard as it is in the world?! If you feel you are on the receiving end of those expectations from family members, forgive. Just know that deep down they do love you and are not choosing a healthy way to communicate that to you. Getting healthy needs to be YOUR choice, not theirs. That's when it will become yours and you will be successful.

Here's to continuing to grow and learn as we all reach our next fitness level and discover our Inner Athlete!

Have a fit & fabulous day!